I guess today was a normal kind of day at church. We arrived, we sang, we listened, we prayed and then we all ate food together in what we call a fellowship meal. This happens every week and is a unique feature of our group.
It feels very right to share food with those with whom you share worship. It's great to chat with people and find out what's going on in their lives. The food itself is often amazing. Today's lemon posset was a revelation. I wish I knew how to construct one of those, it would be a great pudding to have in one's arsenal.
Soon there will be the inevitable lift home, a short stagger to the front door and a collapse onto a horizontal bed. (the vertical bed I tried was not a success)
[ short gap in narrative whilst the aforementioned lift took place ]
Now I lie on my bed, able to reflect on the morning's events. It was, by any standards, a depressing sermon today. Full of negatives and zero encouragement. I shouldn't be surprised, because negativity and lack of encouragement are a regular feature of our sermons these days. I try to let it wash over me and do as little damage as possible, but I worry for others in the congregation. I worry that they will be led into religious paranoia and fear. The Bible tells us that perfect love casts out all fear. I can only assume there must be something lacking in the love department somewhere along the line.
Yes, it's a serious situation and something really should be said. However, how much to say, how to phrase it and who to say it to remain difficult questions to answer. Either that, or I'm just looking for a way out in the hope that someone else will rescue me before I'm forced to say something.
Some serious soul searching is required.
In the meantime I have domestic issues which need attention. Due to a lack of sick note my benefits have been stopped and I need to pay £21 to get the sick note from the doctors. However, without any money I can't afford the £21. I wonder how on earth I can solve this. I guess I have to ring up and plead with people. It won't be the first time.
As for Sunday... Now I need to relax and bury myself in something that will distract me from the pain I've incurred by going out. One thing at a time.
Step by step.
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